Waistline Battle Royal: Vol. I

As I wrote in the very first Fat Guy Report post, one of the main issues I planned to discuss on this site was at which point does a fat guy raise his waistline from below the belly to right square on his belly button.

I'll be honest with you, my fellow Fat Guy Coalition members. I have been thinking about this one idea for months, and have yet to come up with a quality position on this topic. However, since there are only about 15 people reading this — 15 good friends to be exact — I'm sure I'll be forgiven for missing a point here or there.

Also, as you have noticed, this is just Vol. I. Many members of the Coalition will be throwing in their two cents at some future point.

Here's my take. I have been wearing my waistline below the belly for 25 years now, and have no plans to change. The only time I have really made a go at the migration north did not work out well. It was the suit I purchased before my first job interview after college. The tailor was indignant, and wouldn't let me leave with a comfortable pair of pants.

I took the new, high-waistline trousers to me on the interview and suffered for six hours. I felt like an old man, and was obsessed by the very visible roll of fat throbbing from below my belt. After a few hours, I just lowered the waistline, tightened the black strip of leather woven between the loops, and went around walking on the cuffs of my now-incredibly long pant legs.

It was embarrassing, but I got the job. That bundle of dark blue cloth stuffed in the bottom of the hamper became my lucky suit. Once it returned from the cleaners, we both made a visit back to the same, indignant tailor.

I now have a suit that fits me as well as anything I have ever owned, and a happy fat guy belly hanging out in all its glory.

Now, I don't see this as a fashion issue, in the sense I don't believe a man looks better with either the lower or higher waistline. This is simply a comfort issue. What is interesting to someone like me is how a fat guy could feel good with the over waistline. My good friend and mentor, Bail $$$, made the transition years ago. He swears by the high belt line, but he knows where I'm coming from. He too remembers when it seemed weird to wear his pants like he now does. But after doing it for so long, he can't think of going back. 

There's what I love about this discussion. Every fat guy has worn his pants with the waistline under his jiggle drum, but you can't really experience the over-the-belly belt line until you make the move for good.

In a way, it's like those fat guys who have made the transition are a member of some evolutionary species of (fat) man. They have moved on to some greater form of fat guy than I. 

In the future, the Fat Guy Report will have various guest authors make an appearance, with the only condition being they must first write their response to his issue. The Over/Under Waistline Discussion will be this site's signature topic.

Let's see if this is a good idea — or makes sense at all — in a few months. Until then, I feel pretty good about this one.

I (heart) pie.