Mount Rushmore of Food or: Thank the Lord for Chadwick for Giving Me an Idea When I Was Mentally Tapped Out

I understand I am woefully under qualified to speak about the greatest eating experiences in this country. I have only lived in a select few areas in my short time on this Earth, but I think I can come up with four quality restaurants to be immortalized on the Fat Guy Report's Mount Rushmore. 

I decided to choose chain restaurants for this purpose. Later, we'll delve into more individualized eateries.

McDonald's

Now, I can hear most people I know hemming and hawing about this first selection. Whenever you discuss the best fast food restaurants, someone always chimes in with the classic anti-McDonald's diatribe you hear far too often.

You know what? I can guarantee you that same person not only has eaten at McDonald's since making that statement, but they enjoyed their meal.

Numbers don't lie. The Golden Arches are the standard-bearers of fast food. Period. They have the best french fries, best desserts, and, yes, even the best burgers. These are facts.

People will argue with this selection, but there is no arguing with sales numbers.

Favorite meal: Two cheeseburger meal, fries, Coke, and three chocolate chip cookies.

Red Robin

There has to be a place on this mount for the family restaurant. Places like Chili's, T.G.I. Fridays, or The Olive Garden have a foothold on the American public. They are some of the most profitable enterprises in this country, and none serve up better grub than Red Robin.

The burgers are the best. So are the onion rings. But the best of the best this franchise has to offer are the steak fries.

The fact they are a bottomless basket, moves them right to the center of the fat guy's soul.

Favorite meal: Whiskey River burger, bottomless fries and a beer.

Tilted Kilt

I had no idea this was a chain when I first entered its hallowed walls in Las Vegas. And I don't care. The Tilted Kilt is the greatest pub experience I have ever had.

The Celtic-themed restaurant/bar offers a wonderful array of tap beers, liquor, and good ol' fashion bar food. But, as evidenced in the photo, the Tilted Kilt offers far more than just booze and grub.

Favorite Meal: Killian's Irish Red and whatever these professional staff members feel like serving.

Smith & Wollensky

This is, by far, the greatest eating experience I have ever had at a chain. It's a high-class, high-priced establishment. So, obviously, I have only ate their once. However, I have never enjoyed a meal more.

Between the atmosphere, diverse bread basket, and quality cuts of meat, there are no holes in this selection. In fact, much like George Washington on the actual Mount Rushmore, you cannot celebrate the history of chain restaurants without Smith & Wollensky.

Favorite meal: Veal Shank, mashed potatoes, bread, veggies, and a glass (or ten) of red wine.

I (heart) pie.